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January 27, 2015












HELLO CALIFOOOOORNIA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello! I just felt the need to close off my blog. As many of you know, I am home now back in California! And...I miss Colorado. :) It's hard to believe that it's over, but I have had a lot of time to reflect and really think about what I have learned. Everyone keeps telling me that I just need time to adjust, but I never knew what to do with that advice. The conclusion I've come to is that I need to adjust my life to fit who I want to be now, not just adjust back to where I was before. The enabling power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ is how I was carried through my mission. Looking back, I know that the Lord was with me every step of the way. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done, and I KNOW I could not have done this without Him. I am not that strong. For this reason, I also know that I will not be able to live the rest of my life without Him. The things accomplished this past year and a half was not once my doing. It was the work of the Lord. This is part of how I came to know that Jesus is the Christ, the Savior and Redeemer of the world. That says a lot about how much God loves us! (John 3:16) WATCH THIS VIDEO I want you all to know how much I have loved this opportunity I had to serve a mission. I will never forget the amazing experiences that God provided me this past year and a half. Please join with me as I attend church every week, read the scriptures, and pray every day. These are the things that keep us strong.

Lastly, our Savior Lives!!!! I cannot wait to apply what I've learned and become the wife and mother my God wants me to be. Missions are the best thing, and this gospel is the best thing. It provides all the answers we need. Daily. All the time. I LOVE GOD. Like I said... Christ lives! And because He lives, WE WILL BE ABLE TO LIVE AGAIN!  

IF YOU DONT WATCH ANY OF THE OTHERS JUST WATCH THIS ONE

I LOVE MY MISSION!!!!


I want you each to know that you are child of your God and that He loves you. Ponder this statement and you'll be amazed at who you really are and the potential you have. Never forget that He has a plan for every single one of us, and by living each day, we are progressing on a path. The Holy Spirit is able to quietly impress upon our minds and souls the things we need to do, the people we need to talk to, and the decisions we need to make. Each decision we make alters the course of our eternal life. As President Monson says, Decisions Determine Destiny. Even the smallest decision, that we think would only change our life a few degrees, can point us in a whole new direction. We need to learn to conform to God's will, and we will never stray off course. But the question we need to ask ourselves is, is it God's path? Or ours? This is an important question to reflect on as we go about our daily life. WATCH THIS TOO



bbyyyeee!

Christ Lives!
January 12, 2015


Okay first off, I saw Elder Rusick and Elder Hansen at the meeting with Elder Bednar this week! oh my gosh it was crazy but really great to see them. it was cool because you really could see the light about them and it was like celestial Irvine/BYU! hahaha. I'm waiting for Elder Hansen to send me the picture!  but YES we got to see Elder Bednar this week! It was an amazing experience. We learned a lot about learning by the Spirit and asking in faith. There's so much I could say that I learned but I'm too excited to write about the rest of the week.

There have been so many amazing experiences that have really helped me see my mission tie all together and see the hand of the Lord in EVERYTHING! I was reading my journal from this time last year, and I found that on January 11, 2014, I was able to invite Brad to be baptized. yesterday, January 11, 2015, I was able to invite Brad to the temple. And he is so excited to go. It was such a powerful experience, but I learned an important principle of the gospel at this time. I learned about enduring to the end. if for some reason I wasn't able to endure to the end of my mission, I would not have been able to see this miracle. If something had happened and people didn't help Brad along the way, I wouldn't have been able to see this miracle. it was so clear to me in these moments that enduring to the end is so important, but it also teaches us that EACH of us are so important in the work of the Lord. we all have such an important role to play, and we cant let that go! we each are so important in others lives, so that we can all make it to the finish line. I am so grateful that Heavenly Father let me have this experience! I LOVE THE LORD!

Another great thing that happened this week was a baptism of an 8 yr old girl, a daughter of a family that I got to know and teach last year! when I was here last year, this wonderful family was just barely returning to church. and the dad has been working on receiving the priesthood so that he could baptize his daughter this weekend! and that's what happened! OH MY GOSH IT WAS THE BEST. we were able to have a lesson with them this week before the baptism, and it was so powerful. they have all grown so much and I could especially see the light in the father's countenance. it was obvious that a worthy priesthood holder now resided in their home. I was so grateful for the opportunity to see their growth. they are amazing and on their way to the temple to be sealed as a family for time and all eternity. I don't think this gospel, or this WEEK could have been better!

So we were tracting this Saturday, and we were doing a small survey that included questions like 'do you believe in God', 'Jesus Christ', 'is a close strong family important to you', 'how do you cope with a crisis in your life', etc. so we were talking to this man, and when we were done with the survey, he was like OKAY, your turn! haha and we were so confused! but he took our clipboard and started asking us the questions. and I was so grateful for this opportunity! it was funny to have to answer the questions that we were asking everyone else. but what stuck out to me was when he asked "how do you cope with a crisis in your life?". I answered, "I rely on my Savior Jesus Christ." he paused and looked at me, and looked straight in my eyes and asked me "what does that mean? how?"

At first, I stumbled over my words and I paused because I had to think about what that really meant. because I knew I meant what I said, but I wanted to explain it well. after I paused I started talking and told him that I think there are a lot of ways. one of them is trusting Him. but what I really felt has really helped me rely on the Lord is learning about Him .Reading about Him .Reading about His life, in the Book of Mormon and in the Bible. trying to be more like Him. and asking for forgiveness in prayer. Our Savior is perfect, and I think that we forget sometimes how great that really is. Because He is perfect, we are able to rely on His strength and draw from it. we are able to read the scriptures, and gain a witness for ourselves that He is the Christ. He is the Son of the Living God, and because of this knowledge, we can overcome anything. Our Savior lived here and overcame everything. I testified to this man about the Book of Mormon, and how it is a second witness of our Savior Jesus Christ. and through that book, I have come to know Him in such a stronger way, and ive been able to rely on the knowledge of His goodness from that book. That is why we invite all to read it. To read it, and to ponder in your hearts the message it contains. And then to pray and ask God if it is true. Because if it is, then we KNOW that Jesus Christ is the Savior of the World, and that THAT book can help us in so many ways. It helps us know that Joseph Smith is a prophet, and that this church is the Lord's Kingdom once again on the earth. and it prepares us for the Second Coming! Yes I just quoted everything from the introduction to the Book of Mormon. but I just want you all to know, whoever you are- life long member, or not even close to that, read the Book of Mormon. and then read it again. and ask God if its true. because I know that if you do, you'll gain a witness that it is true. This is Jesus Christ's gospel here again on the earth, in its fullness.

It is because of these truths that I am a missionary for the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. and I know of the truth of it, because of the things I've been able to overcome and the happiness and fulfillment I find every day of my life.

I Love my Savior and Redeemer! I KNOW He Lives!

I LOVE MY MISSION
January 5, 2015

HELLO EVERYONE I'M BACK IN THE WARD I STARTED IN AND I LOVE MY LIFE. I could not be happier. I am with Sister Nicol, and I love being her companion! I'd send pictures but my camera broke, so oh well. BUT I HAVE SO MANY GREAT THINGS TO REPORT. 

first, I love my mission. 
second, our Savior lives.
and third, I love my mission. 

Okay so our first day in the orchard ward.. was..quite possibly the best day of my whole mission. but then the next day was the best and the next day was the best. i have 100 stories floating through my mind right now, but I don't even know which one to write about! it has seriously been the most miraculous 3 days of my whole mission and life. I've never been so happy!!!! 

When we first got here, I was terrified. I was so scared because I had hurt my back and I hadn't been able to work for over 2 weeks and the ride over the mountain was really rough. i was so excited to go back to my old ward, but so scared that I wouldn't be able to be the missionary that i wanted to be because of my injury. but the first day here, was amazing! we got to go to the rehab center that we used to volunteer at and I saw the lady that had gotten baptized while I was gone, last July. when she saw me she burst into tears and gave me a big hug and just told me how she never thought she would be able to see me again. She said that her family owes sister Hilton and I everything, because we helped her get Sundays off and start going to church and it changed her families life. I started to get emotional and I hugged Jamie and I realized that Heavenly Father was blessing me so much by allowing me to be in this area. I knew in that moment that everything would be okay, and that this would be a transfer of miraculous things. By that night, my back didn't hurt! and it hasn't since then! 

There are so many stories that I could tell, but I don't have time!!! We are teaching people that i found a year ago. i went back to a lady that i regretted not being more bold with and invited her to return to activity in the church, and she said no at first but then changed her mind and decided to come to church next Sunday and pray to know if  that's where she should be. I have taught 3 people that I found over a year ago - and asked two of them to be baptized! great seeds that had been planted. I know that I was supposed to be sent back to this area. I know that God lives and loves us each so much. this week has been the biggest testimony to me that God knows exactly the situation and plans he has for each of us in the future, and He will do anything do get us to where we need to be. The biggest reason I think I am in this area is for this one lady I knew a year ago, that hadn't left my mind since I left the area. We helped her get her patriarchal blessing, and she was working towards the temple, but she has some habits that are keeping her from getting there. I bore my heart and soul to her, telling her the story of how I got there and how I knew I was there for her. In tears, she said,  I never thought I'd actually make it to the temple. but now I know I can. So that is what she is working towards. We knelt down together and prayed about a date that she'd be able to be worthy to go. When we stood up, she marked an X on the calendar, and she knows she can make it. 

EVERYONE, I love my mission. I love it more than anything else I've ever done. I am so thankful for this opportunity I have to serve. I love every time we get to share the gospel with someone new, and testify of our Savior's goodness and strength. On Sunday, while we took the sacrament, I had a very sacred experience where I felt God's love and strength so strongly. I know that we will be able to help a lot of people feel their Savior's love this transfer. I know that our Savior LIVES and that's why He's able to help us as He has helped me heal. I know I'm supposed to be here and I love every minute of it. I am so grateful for the Atonement and change. I know that I've changed a lot as a missionary since I've been here, and there is a lot of unfinished business. but most importantly, I give all the glory to my Father in Heaven who has given me these wonderful experiences. I love being an instrument in His hands and I am so thankful He sent His son to this earth to die for us. With Him, anything is possible.

"when the student is ready, the teacher appears."
thats how it is with missionary work! LOVE YOU GUYS! 

I LOVE MY MISSION!

Diligence and Patience
December 22, 2014

This week has been…super interesting! I've done..nothing. I hurt my back really bad and I was not able to work for a week and a half. I had to let myself heal, and there was no other way to do it.

At first I thought it was really frustrating because my goal for this month was diligence, and when I hurt my back, I thought, how in the WORLD is this teaching me diligence? I was expecting diligence in missionary work  but, Heavenly Father thought it was better to teach me diligence in another way. I have learned to trust in God's promises, and endure to the end. My faith has increased dramatically through this experience. There was one point where I thought that I might have to go home a few weeks early, and I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much this devastated me. I seriously thought it was the end of the world, but then I started to change my outlook, and  remembered that I had received a priesthood blessing- that gave me the gift of healing and of understanding of God's will for me.

I started becoming more grateful for the things that I had, like a wonderful companion, and I really was healing, even if it was slow. I began to have even more fervent prayers with my Heavenly Father each night and morning, pleading with Him to help me understand my trials. After I began to do this, a new light came into my life. I understood more that I was learning patience, and diligence, and that I really needed to take care of myself. So I stayed with members throughout the week while my companion got to go out with some other sisters.

There was one night I was praying, and felt the deep impression to pray that I could be healed by Sunday.  I thought- at the rate I'm going, this might not be really possible…but I felt the need to put my faith in it anyway. When it got to Saturday night, my back was actually in one of the worst states it had been in in a couple of days. So all the sisters were saying...well, looks like you'll be down again tomorrow! and I just kept saying NO. TOMORROW IS THE DAY I'LL BE HEALED.

So I went to bed that night really hurting, but really asking my Heavenly Father for help. I knew that I wanted to serve Him and serve the full time of my mission. I wanted to heal and serve the people around me. Sunday came around, and I was really excited to take the Sacrament. I knew that there was a special power in that ordinance, because it had been blessed by the Priesthood. I knew that it could be as powerful as touching the clothes of Jesus Christ, just as the lady did in the story in the New Testament- and she was healed. As I took the Sacrament, I really felt my Savior's love and my Heavenly Father's love. After a few talks and songs, I stood up to give my talk. I felt so grateful for all of the blessings the Lord had given me. I loved Him so much in that moment that I stood up at the pulpit. The Spirit truly guided my talk that day, and when I sat down after I was finished, I sat there and thought to myself, "my back doesn't hurt anymore."

I know that it was by the healing power of our Savior Jesus Christ that I was able to be healed. but, what I really want to show by this story is the importance of keeping the Sabbath Day holy. I know how important it is to take the Sacrament every single week. We cannot miss it. We need it, and our Spirit needs it. Our Heavenly Father will bless us as we do so. I believe in Heavenly Father's timing, and although I cannot go out and run a marathon right now, I know that I was significantly blessed by the Sacrament and by His holy day yesterday. I am so thankful for this commandment and I hope we can all strive to keep it. I hope we can always continually look for more ways to consecrate ourselves on this day, because that is how we can come to know our Savior in a more significant way.  Please adopt this principle more fully in your life at this time. I know that our Redeemer lives, and  because of that, we can be instruments in His hands each day. We become closer to His spirit each time we take the Sacrament, and it can become an increasingly rewarding pattern in our lives as we strive to more wholly keep the Sabbath Day Holy. I know this to be true, and I know the Book of Mormon to be true, and I know this Gospel of Jesus Christ to be true. I know it without any doubts, because by the sacred power and help of the Holy Ghost, I feel of its truth every day of my life. I feel the power of His message. I pray that we'll all have a Merry Christmas, and feel the love of our Savior more fully! I love you all! and I love my Savior! AND MY MISSION!

He is The Gift

December 8, 2014

THIS WEEK. WAS THE BEST. ever. seriously. okay. so. I can't get my thoughts together.

This week was sister's conference, where all sisters from the surrounding areas in our stake come together and we have a bunch of training. Sister Pearson and I were planning it for WEEKS. We had been trying to figure it out, we had asked certain sisters to train on whatever they felt inspired to, and we thought we had a theme in mind. We based it on the scripture in Doctrine and Covenants 50:24, about light, and asked all of the sisters to base their training on that scripture. Sister Pearson and I, for our part, were planning on showing a couple of Mormon Messages, and we had it all planned out. That morning, an hour before the conference, we both looked at each other and felt exactly the same thing. We needed to scratch the whole thing we had planned.

We didn't know what we were going to do, we just knew we needed to go by the Spirit. So we showed up at Sister's Conference and it was a FIASCO. haha There was a sister who was getting calls about her health from the doctors and was in tears, some sisters thought it was at 11:00 when  it started at 10:00, and everything was just crazy. Sister Pearson and I didn't know what to do.

Right now we sound like horrible Sister Training Leaders but it's fine because it all worked out.

We got up in front of everyone and just told them exactly what had happened. Our original plan was to have them give their training, then a musical number, then we would train. But we told them that we felt the need to scratch the plan and do something else. We felt that a lot of sisters didn't realize how much they really were progressing, so we all sat in a circle and talked about progression and how Satan makes us think we are not going anywhere in our missions or in our lives. We ended up training on "light", and how when we add more light to our lives, we are continually being converted and progressing towards being like our Savior. All of these talks and scriptures just overwhelmingly came to us that we had studied during the week. The Lord really directed our conversation, and the Spirit was so strong in that room. There was just a feeling of GOODNESS there, and happiness from the sisters. Next, we had all of the sisters give their training, and they all related it to light PERFECTLY.  It went so smoothly and the Spirit was already so strong, we all learned a lot. We really learned what our Savior wanted us to learn that day.  We closed with a musical number, and we all felt so at peace! It started rough but ended up being such a good meeting since we got to hear from all of the sisters!

That was just the beginning of this great week! So as you probably have heard, there is a new video on You Tube called "He is the Gift" about Christmas. We have been trying to share it with as many people as possible, and we had challenged this family in our ward to invite someone over next Sunday to eat with us and watch that video and hear a short Christmas message. They accepted, but about a week into the challenge they still hadn't been able to find anyone to bring!

On Saturday we were tracting, trying to hand out as many "He is the Gift" pass along cards as possible. When we got out of the car we saw a man across the street and I sprinted to give him a card. He didn't really hear what I said and was like, "what?" so I just said ummmm, here's a video we wanted to share with you! bye! (I'm so lame).

BUT then, about 20 min later, we got a call from that family I just mentioned that's supposed to be inviting someone to their house. The husband was so excited.  He said, "Sisters! I have to tell you about this great missionary opportunity I had just now! There was this man that walked by my house and he came up to me saying that this girl just handed him a card, but ran away before he could tell her that he didn't have internet to watch the video! So he told him, that's funny, they are coming over to show us that video on and to eat dinner on Sunday! Do you and your wife want to come?" HE SAID YES! So they successfully found someone to come to dinner!

We thought this was the best experience of our lives at that moment, but what I really learned from it was two things- that God is ALWAYS in the details in our lives, and that if we set a goal, God helps us reach it. I know that to be true. It's through our prayers that others are prompted to be instruments in the Lord's hands. We weren't even planning on being in that area on Saturday, but we had felt strongly to go to someone's house so we followed it!

I love being a missionary, and I'm grateful for this calling that I have at this time. I never want to give it up! It's just so real to me that the Lord is in charge of this work, and I KNOW that He is my Savior. I know that my Redeemer lives and I don't know what I'd do without this knowledge. I really pray that we'll all be able to feel His influence and love this Christmas. It really is such a special time of year and I'm so excited to see what other miracles come. I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father! I can honestly say that I feel their love and influence and Spirit just overwhelmingly each day for all the people we come in contact with. That's how I know we are God's children. In the name of Jesus Christ, AMEN!

Forgiveness is Necessary for Change

November 24, 2014

Wow! I have sooo much to say! Well, here I am again in Montrose! It's great though, I love it here. I'm glad I get to stay everywhere forever  because I really like change, and well, God is teaching me to love enduring to the end!

The first thing that's on my mind is the HASTENING OF THE WORK OF SALVATION OF GOD'S CHILDREN. I will gladly tell you what I mean by that. If you didn't hear, the movie "Meet the Mormons" just came out and it was wonderful and next month, the church is putting out a new video called "He is the Gift"! and it's the best video of all time. There will be a website, christmas.mormon.org, and I invite all of you to check it out! We get to hand out pass along cards with that on it and we get to share wonderful Christmas messages about Jesus Christ all month to remind everyone about the true meaning of Christmas!

Anyway, so the big thing that has been on my mind is change and forgiveness. I have the opportunity to give a talk about forgiveness next week and I'm really excited. I've been trying to really pray about how and what to talk about because it's such a big subject!

First, I was thinking about a training that sister Pearson and I got to give on how Colorado Denver South is the BEST MISSION IN THE WORLD! We had thirty minutes to convince our zone that that statement was true, and I think it worked. haha. but one of the activities we did was we talked about how much this mission has changed since we first came out and then we talked about how much WE have changed since we've come out on a mission. We had a few minutes to sit and write a letter to tell someone we love about how much we have changed. Something hit me really hard as a wrote that! I was talking about how I've learned so much about my Savior etc, but then I found myself writing, "and I hope I can carry these changes home with me." that's when I realized- what does it take for something to be carried with us forever and through eternity? will the changes that I make now and throughout my whole life carry through to the next life? have the changes been significant enough that I'd do anything to keep them and keep living in the way God wants me to live? All of these questions spun through my mind as I reflected on my mission.

Next I realized that only through Jesus Christ would it be possible to make the changes necessary to receive a continuous conversion and salvation. As God's children, we decide what changes we make and we decided what to do with our lives here on earth. However without Jesus Christ, the 'extraordinary' would not be possible. In that moment, I was overcome with gratitude for my Savior Jesus Christ. I was overcome with the feelings that I just wanted to hold on to my relationship with Him as tight as I could. I never wanted to lose it.

So, what does this have to do with forgiveness? a lot. It teaches us WHY forgiveness is necessary. Forgiveness is necessary in order to change.

Over the course of my mission, I have learned a lot of things. There have been some of the happiest times, and also some of the hardest times. I have made mistakes, and probably have not been the nicest always, but there have also been times when I have been filled with love for the people and devotion to the work. Sometimes relationships need mending, and moments that need repenting. I personally have truly experienced the healing of the Atonement. Sometimes we do things to cover up our mistakes, or our misdeeds. We move on, thinking, it's okay- we will just never get along with a person or its okay, they aren't really hurt by that comment. That is not true. The reason I know that Jesus is the Christ is because of the opportunities He has given me to forgive.

This past week, someone had brought up an Elder that I probably wasn't the nicest to. I thought everything he did was a joke, and I felt that he had hurt more than he had done good. After this person brought him up, this huge feeling of GUILT just washed over me. No, I had never really done anything really mean to this elder. I maybe made some smart comments towards him, but what I really had done was to be angry with him in my mind. I felt like he was very distracting to other sisters and it really made me mad,  but I felt like my feelings were justified because of the harm he had done.

As the week went on, I felt worse and worse! I was amazed at the opportunity that God was giving me to repent of this and to change my attitude.  I was amazed because really, no one would ever know if I forgave this elder or not. He wouldn't know, the other missionaries wouldn't know, but the fact was- I would know and that's what mattered to Heavenly Father. I found myself pleading for forgiveness- I wanted to change. I wanted to recognize every single person as a child of God and I wanted to be better. Though this was not a huge sin, it was one of the hardest repentance processes I ever had to go through. Probably because it was something that we do most often…judge.

I was so grateful that I knew that through repenting, I could be forgiven. It didn't have to bother me anymore. There really wasn't a good reason that this elder bothered me. I know that through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, I changed. I forgave him, but more importantly I forgave myself.

Sometimes, we think we don't have to change. We may be doing well in life, and everything seems fine, but in reality, there is always something to change. Something to repent of. That's why God has given us the great miracle of sending His son to the earth to die for us, so that we could overcome any challenge sent our way.

Hopefully you don't think my story is too dumb.  I really am not that judgmental haha. But it was really something that affected me and I learned more about my Savior Jesus Christ because of it. I am grateful for every opportunity we have to forgive. I hope you will all keep this in mind this Christmas season- and think, is there anyone that God would want YOU to forgive? I would suggest that this would bring the Spirit more abundantly into your life and give you a greater opportunity to grow yourself.

I love my Savior so much and I love this gospel. I love you all and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

I Know that Joseph Smith is a Prophet of God

November 10, 2014

This week had to be the most insane of my whole entire mission and life, but I can honestly say that I've never learned more in my life. I feel like I'm really dramatic every time I write these emails but I really mean it!

I prayed about what I should write this time and all that came to my mind was "the first vision" and "your experience." A lot of different stories could be told about what happened this week, but I feel like I need to humbly tell you how I felt during it. I truly have come to know the meaning of Ether 12:27 in the Book of Mormon which says:

"And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them."

As I tell this story, I would just pray that the Spirit will convey to you how I truly feel about the Lord and about my mission and about this gospel. I wanted to start by reciting the First Vision from Joseph Smith's experience when he was called as a prophet to restore Jesus Christ's church today. When he humbly asked in prayer to know which church to join and which church was closest to Jesus Christ's church that had the full truth, and nothing but the truth, he said, "I saw a pillar of light, exactly over my head, above the brightness of the sun, which descended gradually until it fell upon me. when the light rested upon me, I saw two personages, standing above me in the air. One of them spake unto me, calling me by name, and said, pointing to the other, This is My Beloved Son, Hear Him!"

I want you all to know the greatness and glory of this experience. Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ CAME to Joseph Smith when he asked them a question in humble prayer, which sparked one of the greatest times in history. The truth being restored to the earth and to the children of God.

This is why I'm here as a missionary, because I know this is true. I know without a doubt that this event happened! and that it is what brought forth the power and way to be ETERNAL FAMILIES forever. Yes, people can say that they think they are going to be with their families forever, but this gospel is what makes that thought turn into knowledge. This gospel and religion is more than a belief. It's not just a new church, or something established to keep our lives in order. It's HERE because it's the FULL TRUTH. It's not changed things, not new things, but restored truth that we all once knew. It's the truth telling us that we can know the mysteries of God here on earth. It's the truth telling us that we are going to be eternal beings and we are important. It's the truth telling us the truth of ALL THINGS! So much I can't even contain myself or fit it in this email! Oh,  also Elder Rhoades of the seventy came this week and in the middle of the fireside he asked me to come up and bear my testimony and recite the first vision...I forgot part of it while I was up there..so this email is me making up for it haha. embarrassing.

Overall, what I experienced this week was the truthfulness of the gospel. I can say I know without a doubt that our Savior lives and loves us, which was so apparent in the First Vision. The picture of the first vision is the perfect symbolism. https://www.lds.org/media-library/images/first-vision-1056664?lang=eng&category= God is there to represent justice- He is a just God and we are accountable for our actions. Jesus Christ is there to represent mercy- He is our advocate and since He satisfied the demands of justice with the Atonement, he can apply mercy, and Joseph Smith- showing that we have to use our agency to search. to ask. to plead. to pray. I know that Joseph Smith is a prophet of God!

I know that Heavenly Father answers prayers! I know that He literally hears every word. Never doubt that. God gives us trials in general on earth so that we can recognize our weakness and then with Him, become strong. I made it to my breaking point this past week on my mission. I knew I was weak and I didnt think I could come out of it. So much of my mission has been spent helping sisters, and doing things that seem like things OTHER than missionary work and it was making me so mad! because it really felt like it had broken me to a point that I had never been broken before, but through this experience I was able to learn that when we are in the service of our fellow beings, we are ONLY in the service of our God.

We can all change through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, even when we don't think we can, or that others can or that we feel like we have before, but this time it's 'not working' or that you have done everything for someone and they still aren't changing. Never blame your circumstances- we can always change. I knew I had to and that was the hardest part, but that is how we learn about our Savior. I'm grateful for the change and growth we have to experience here on earth. I know it's always possible. and that is how I know this gospel is true, because I have learned that even the seemingly impossible is possible with Christ. JESUS CHRIST LIVES!

God's Commandments Make Us Free
November 3, 2014

SO MANY GREAT THINGS TO REPORT. Well first off, sorry I meant to change all those caps last week to lowercase but I ran out of time..I stressed about it all week. Sorry everyone. Also, I'm companions with sister Patera again!

Sunday, we had so many miracles! The 15 year old girl that we've been teaching had been wanting to be baptized, but wasn't exactly sure yet. She wanted to learn more. We gave her the assignment to read 3 Nephi 11, and as of Saturday, she hadn't done it. Then on Sunday she came up and said that she had read it and WANTED TO BE BAPTIZED! as soon as possible! I could have shouted for JOY it was the greatest thing to ever happen... besides the fact that this other lady that we are teaching came up at church also and said she prayed about the Word of Wisdom and she was more willing to give up drinking! (last week she and her husband said they were drinking on Saturday no matter what!) AND, another family that doesn't come very often came and stayed for all three hours of church and the classes were PERFECT for them! I love this gospel because it literally binds families together. I just love it so much and I love seeing the progress of these people. Something that is common among them all is that they are reading the scriptures more often than before. That is SO important for our eternal progression! never stop!

I have learned SO much this week and I am really thankful for it. Something I've been thinking a lot about is God's commandments. A lot of people that we teach feel that God's commandments are hard, restrict them, and they want to do other things. This scripture keeps coming to my mind:

Therefore, O my son, whosoever will come may come and partake of the waters of life freely; and whosoever will not come the same is not compelled to come; but in the last day it shall be restored unto him according to his deeds (Alma 42:27)

We literally choose what we do in this life. We can choose captivity and death (the devil's way, making our own choices) or happiness and eternal life (the way of Christ, accepting God's will and changing, even when it's hard.)  We were teaching this couple that I mentioned earlier (the wife who prayed about not drinking anymore) and the Word of Wisdom came up, and they started getting somewhat agitated about what they "couldn't do" and how they "didn't think it was that bad." A girl that was with us explained it perfectly. She explained how growing up, she was mad at her parents and she didn't want to do this "Mormon thing." She didn't want to live the "Mormon way" or anything like it, but what her mom said to her, changed her life. She said, don't do it the Mormon way, do it God's way. If we are always asking God what we should be doing in our lives, we will always be led and guided. So many people think that the church has put so many restrictions on us, and all of these different ideas.  This is not the case.

I want to testify to you that it is God's commandments that make us free. It is what brings us happiness! seriously! So many people in the world are looking for direction, and this is exactly what they are looking for. I am so thankful for the Word of Wisdom and the opportunity to keep the Sabbath day Holy and the way we are taught to read the scriptures and how God commands us to pray every day. I am thankful for these things because it gives me confidence in my life. I feel strong. I know where I'm going and what I'm doing. I have full faith that if  I'm going down the wrong path, God will tell me. The reason I know all of this is because of my Savior Jesus Christ.  These commandments literally unlock the Atonement for us because it allows us to CHANGE.

Lastly, I am so thankful for the opportunity we all have to change through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. This is all possible because of the Book of Mormon and the Bible and all of the answers in it. I am so thankful for the opportunity to live here on earth! and to live and love the gospel, just like we did in the premortal life! and I LOVE MY FAMILY!  The fact that we get to live with each other for eternity is the greatest blessing.

We need to live like Christ is coming tomorrow. We all need the urgency to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Think of what we have- the fullness of the knowledge that we need at this present time! I am thankful for this gospel and the knowledge and comfort it gives me and how it shows me my weaknesses...I have a lot,  but I can change through the Atonement of Jesus Christ! Thank goodness!

Okay bye.  Have a great week!

I Don't Think I've Ever Been So Happy in My Life!
November 4, 2013

SISTER HILTON AND I ARE STAYING TOGETHER. I REPEAT SISTER HILTON AND I ARE STAYING TOGETHER. in this glorious area of the Orchard Ward. We could not be happier. I am so excited!

Number one thing I learned this week. I am so scared to be old. We always volunteer in retirement homes and such and everyone is so bored and... old.

I am just so amazed at the Spirit and how much it helps in missionary work. we were going to visit one of our investigators last week and on our way there this name came to my mind and I was like WE NEED TO GO THERE NOW. So I turned quickly into their neighborhood because we almost passed it and we knocked on the door and they let us in! that never happens. only sometimes. We taught the restoration and of course that was the best thing. Every day is a testimony of miracles. Another day we were on our way to see another one of our investigators and when we pulled in front of their house, we prayed and really just didn't feel good about going there. Then sister Hilton and I both got the impression that we should go see someone else. It was perfect timing. When we showed up, every single belonging of theirs was on the front lawn. They were being evicted :( there was only one guy there so we waited for everyone to get back with a truck to move it all. So we helped move all of their stuff into the truck and into a storage unit. I was so thankful that we followed that impression to go there. After we finished moving everything from the front it started raining! The funny thing was no one ever questioned why or how we knew to come. We were just there. So if they ever think about it they might be really confused.

My favorite was probably last night. This family in our ward invited their good family friends to be taught by us! We had such a fun dinner with them and then talked about the restoration. THE COOLEST THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING THIS WEEK. I absolutely love teaching the restoration because if you think about it, IT IS THE BEST EVEN THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED IN HISTORY. we had Elder Baxter of the 70 come speak to us at zone conference and he talked about the scripture in D&C 1:17? I think its 17. but it says that God KNEW that there would be calamity and evil on the earth, so he called Joseph Smith as a prophet and gave him commandments. ITS AS SIMPLE AS THAT. I keep using caps cause im really excited about it. so when we taught this family, after we related the part about the First Vision, the husband goes, "oh, I believe that!" sometimes people say things and either 1. they don't know what they are saying really means or 2. I don't know how to respond because I'm so caught off guard and stoked. but it was the most amazing thing to hear the members bear their testimonies to their friends. it was the most powerful experience because they really meant every word! something else Elder Baxter said about this scripture was that the Gospel of Jesus Christ IS the answer to the evil in the world. it is the solution to the calamity and the questions of the soul. another time we were teaching these two people about the restoration and after we quoted Joseph Smith in his own words and showed them a picture, he goes, "that is SO cool. I've never heard anything like it." so after that happened I just want to tell everyone about it. I think I forget sometimes how unique our message is. I always just imagine if I were a missionary in Joseph Smith's time and how excited I would be to share the book of Mormon. the message is still the same today, and that gives me so much motivation.

I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life.

God's plan for us

October 27, 2014

I have some strong feelings I want to share with you all right now! This week has been one of the craziest weeks of my mission and I feel drained, but I LOVE IT and I want to serve my Savior and Redeemer Jesus Christ for the rest of my life. You want to know why? BECAUSE HE LOVES US. GOD LOVES US and He has a plan for us! no matter what! and I'm sick of this settling for less than we deserve!  All of you who are reading this probably know me in some way, and no matter if you are close family, or friends, or whoever you are, GOD HAS A PLAN FOR YOU and he comprehends everything that is going on in your life! If something tragic happens, he already knew that would happen and He's already placed things in your life to help you out of it. If something great happens, God already knew it would! HE KNOWS EVERYTHING AND WE CANT FORGET THAT. Sometimes we just need to wait for God's promised blessings to come to pass, but the most important thing for us to remember is that we are GOD's CHILDREN and He loves us.

I wanted to start off this letter with a portion of my email that I sent to one of my best friends this week:

Before we lived here, we lived with God.  As spirits. Not bodies. God has a body of flesh and bone, but he is glorified. He is our literal father. He knows you because you spent time with Him. In this time when we lived with God as spirits, we were presented a plan. We wanted to become like our Heavenly Father because he was so great and loving, and he had so many blessings and so much knowledge and so much joy! But we couldn't do that unless we also received a body and learned for ourselves. We were presented a plan by God that we could go down to earth and receive a body. We shouted for joy. However there were two plans: Satan wanted all of God's children to go down to earth and have no ability to make choices, and then we would all return to live with God. The second plan was that we'd be able to go down to earth, and receive a body and be able to make choices, while being away from God's presence. We'd be able to learn and grow and have our own families. Part of that though is that we'd make mistakes, because we had to learn for ourselves. God knew us well enough to know that we would make mistakes. So Jesus Christ stepped up and said I will be their Savior. When they mess up, when they go through something hard,  I will be there. I will be there to redeem them from their sins and make them clean so they can come live with you again. He wanted us to be able to learn and grow and change here on earth. So those who decided to follow Jesus Christ's plan received bodies and got to come down to earth! Those who followed Satan and didn't believe that Christ could do it, didn't come down to earth and receive bodies. This means you chose Christ! You knew Him before! And you knew this life was possible! You also learned that it'd be hard, but keeping God's commandments would help you because you'd receive blessings. This is just the beginning of our purpose here on earth. We are meant to return to live with God, but only on conditions of change! We need to change and learn and grow and that's what you're doing now.

The first and most important thing to remember is that GOD LOVES US. That's not just a phrase! We lived with Him and knew Him and understood him and talked to Him! Think about someone that you live with. Like, your mom. Or dad. Or someone. And think about how well you know them because you have been around them. THAT'S HOW WELL GOD KNOWS YOU. He literally knows our personalities and what we need and who we need and what we need to do. This is so real to me I think my heart could jump out of my chest. I sincerely hope that you can all feel my love through this email because I KNOW THIS IS TRUE and I feel just a small part of that love for you! and for the people I teach! and for everyone that we come in contact with.

So this is a story about someone that I taught this week. We had only met him once, but a little background story.  This man joined the church when he was 19. He was very active in coming and learning and loving the gospel for many years, and for some reason, over 20 years ago, he stopped coming. This is all we knew about him at the beginning of our lesson. So we went into his house and started with a prayer, and then pulled out a pamphlet about the Restoration of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. My companion started teaching, and then it came to be my turn. and I couldn't speak. I literally could not open my mouth and I was supposed to just tell him about families and how Jesus Christ blesses families! but I couldn't. I just felt this OVERWHELMING feeling that I needed to say something specific. So I sat there in silence for an uncomfortable amount of time, and then just burst out and said "YOU ALREADY KNOW THIS IS TRUE!" and he was like yeah, I do. This is really familiar territory for me. So I asked "THEN WHAT KEEPS YOU FROM COMING TO CHURCH?"  We talked and we bore our testimonies about the church and he told us a wonderful story about how the Spirit has really touched his life. The Spirit and love of God was SO strong in there, but I still knew there was more that God wanted him to know. I felt so strongly that he needed to come back to church now. That there would be something in his life that he would need the full blessings of the gospel and he could not wait. and that God loved him SO much. I sat there and just bore my SOUL to him and told him that God had a specific plan for him and he needed to recognize it. I kept feeling like I should ask him what was bothering him but I already felt kind of crazy for bursting out earlier so I didn't ask for a while...but then I finally did.  He said nothing was bothering him. So we asked him to say the closing prayer- and that's where the truth came out. He thanked God for helping us recognize that he needs help.   and that was just it- he needs help. We all do. We all need prayer. I am impressed to tell you all that PRAYER is the answer to everything. That is where truth is revealed. That is where we are able to communicate with our Father in Heaven and ask Him what He has in store for us. Ask Him what we can do in our lives to better serve Him. I want to bear you my witness that this gospel is true and real. It's so true and real that I'm going to turn to this man next to me who is wondering what I'm so passionately typing about and tell him the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He lives and so do we  and I'm so thankful for it. I sincerely love you all and  hope you make prayer a bigger part of your lives. I love God and the plan He has for us!

Charity - The Pure Love of Christ

October 16, 2014

This has been a great week! I am still in the same area and I am loving it! My new companion, Sister Pearson, is the best ever, and we came out to Colorado at the same time. It's cool to see how far we've come and even though we haven't really served around each other, we've learned a lot of the same things.

Lately our mission has been really pushing that we need to be a completely obedient mission- and we want to be exactly obedient by December 25th, so we can give it to Christ as a gift to Him! It's amazing to see what happens when you involve Jesus Christ- because so much more is possible. our whole mission is seeing a lift. As we work on this together, I feel the Spirit so much more around every missionary! Things are changing that we never thought possible. I can honestly say that I LOVE my mission! honestly! We live in such a great place and we are all helping each other see the consequences of our actions. p.s. I'm never leaving.

so every month I have a different Christlike attribute that I am working on. It's kind of scary because every time I make one of these goals I am tested literally to my limit on it. This month is Charity- the pure love of our Savior Jesus Christ.

I am going to be really real about what I've been feeling, because I feel like there is someone who can learn from my experience. I have been reflecting a lot on what I've learned on my mission, and how I really want to make sure that what I've learned is ingrained in me for the rest of my life. I have realized the importance of not using sarcasm and negativity for humor, and how much that helps me love others as Christ did. It wasn't until I started noticing how much I say these sarcastic comments, even if I say I'm kidding, that I realized how it takes away the Spirit and love of God from me.

I had really been struggling to love one particular person, and I didn't know why, but what they did had truly affected me. As much as I told myself that I had forgiven them, I knew that if I had to, I could not say that I loved this person their face. i couldn't and I didn't want to.

I started asking for my Heavenly Father's help to bless me with the pure love of Christ. The second I asked, I knew that I was going to have to change and do something about it. The next day, I was given the opportunity to speak to this person. If you had told me a month ago that I'd have to be in this position telling this person that I loved them, I would have wanted to die, but I was able to stand there and tell them that I loved them, and I truly felt it! I felt the Spirit wash over me and I knew that I had forgiven them. I knew I needed to do this so I could focus on the work going on around me and more fully feel the Spirit in my life. I didn't want to end my mission and one day look back thinking, I wish I could have been closer to the Spirit and loved people more.

So my question to you is, can you honestly say that you love everyone around you? When you make a sarcastic or negative comment, is it because there is a memory there that bothers you? This is the reason that we have Jesus Christ. He can help us overcome these feelings and emotions that we have. It is because of my experience that I know that He lives and loves me and loves everyone that I teach. I love that I'm able to tell them face to face, every single person, that God and Christ love them. I know it's true because of the feelings in my heart. I hope you all know that I love you and I love my Savior Jesus Christ and I'd do anything to become more like Him. I know this is His true Gospel restored to the earth, and I know that His prophet leads and guides our church. I  know it because it is a reality in my life. I live and love God's plan, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen!

Thomas S. Monson is a Prophet of God

October 6, 2014

Conference was the best ever. I don't know what I would do without the prophets guidance every six months! I wanted to proclaim my testimony of prophets to everyone today.

As a missionary, I have the wonderful opportunity to be a representative of our Savior Jesus Christ for 18 short months. I am so thankful for this opportunity and as part of that calling, I believe it is so important to share my feelings on the Prophet Thomas S. Monson.

I know without a doubt that he is a prophet of God. I know this for many reasons. This weekend, I was fasting for a really specific answer and I know that the words that the prophets and apostles spoke answered my questions. One of the greatest answers to my questions was that we need to make this gospel a priority.

I know that if we make it a priority to go to church, or to learn all we can about our Savior through the scriptures, the Lord is bound to bless us. I know that Thomas S. Monson is called of God because I prayed and asked God and He said yes. It was the most resounding yes I've ever felt- and it gave me so much joy! to know that we are led by someone who knows Jesus Christ so well. I look up to him so much and his example of selfless service. He serves so much and I know that it affects me daily, especially as a missionary. Without Thomas S. Monson being close to the Lord, I would not be on a mission right now because of the age change that happened a couple of years ago. I wouldn't be where I am, and I wouldn't have met the people that I’ve met. I know that everything that has happened on my mission is inspired of God and because of that, I know that President Monson is a prophet. I was called by God to be here, through him.

I also have come to know that he is a prophet through the book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon invites us to 'test the word'. I test it every day of my life. I know that I don’t have enough strength to be here. I know that working all day like we do, and teaching as much as we do, and still loving and serving our companions and wards, is not possible without the grace of our Savior Jesus Christ. Every living soul needs His grace and He is so willing to give it to us. We just have to ask.

I say these things in our Savior Jesus Christ's name because I know that He lives and this is His living church.

On the Lord's Errand

September 17, 2014

This week was amazing! We had Elder Lawrence of the Quorum of the Seventy come and speak to us! It really helped me learn a lot about how I could be more consecrated and love the Lord even more, which I really felt like I needed. So on Sunday night, I got to drive down to Grand Junction and sleep over with Sister TURNER AND SISTER HILTON! the best companions of all time. It was a glorious day. The next day we got to go to Mission Leader Council and Elder Lawrence had us council the whole time about mission rules and what we needed to do better. We talked a lot about preparation day and how we could use that more effectively, and some of the elders kind of piped up and said "what about basketball!" and different things and Elder Lawrence asked us, well are you here to play basketball or be a missionary? and it was in that moment that it hit me. it is such a privilege to be a missionary and we cannot waste any second that we have here. and yes, it can be hard but that's how we get to know the Lord better. By being on His errand, and by being His instrument. Our mission president pleaded with us to truly be the leaders of the mission and administer the consequences of disobedience accordingly. I was truly grateful for this counsel because I was looking for new goals to have- how to be more consecrated and feel like I am progressing. I love my mission!!!!

There was something that was mentioned in our zone conference that really struck me, and that was about the pre-mortal life  and how we developed different talents there, and we all have different talents! but what really stuck out to me was that they talked about the talent of Spirituality! the definition of this talent is the "ability to recognize truth, and then act on it." that is something that i truly believe that my brother Brayden has, because he sees things as they really are. However, it is how we act on it that truly helps us develop our talent of spirituality.

This past sacrament meeting I learned about temptation. For some reason this topic was really interesting to me and I took a ton of notes. The man who gave the talk said that sometimes, we just need to go back to the basics! Sometimes we make things too complicated! and he brought us to the scripture in Abraham 3:25:

25 And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them;

We are down here on earth to prove that we can do what we have been asked to do! When we were in the pre-mortal life, we heard about God's plan for us. Jesus Christ, Jehovah, offered to perform the Atonement for us so we could return to live with them. Satan had a different plan. We each then had the opportunity to choose who we were going to follow. Those who followed Jesus Christ came down to earth and got a body, and those who followed Satan, did not. Satan lost the battle he wanted to win. But, he had a back-up plan and that back-up plan was temptation and opposition in all things. As it says in Abraham, we came to earth to see if we could do ALL things, but with Satan involved, we would also be tempted in ALL things. Temptation is a part of our daily life. But what the man talked about was how we could use our temptation for good. Sometimes it's hard to overcome certain things, but that temptation can become a compassionate warning voice, that we need to walk out of whatever situation we are in. He said to imagine a huge exit sign above us and imagine walking out of it. When we do this, the Holy Ghost will be by our side to prompt us NO. Without temptation, we would not have the experiences necessary to return to our God. So what I am saying is that temptation is necessary, but Christ gave us a way to overcome it. Through him. We just need to turn to Him, literally. He compared it to a magnet- when a two magnets are stuck together, one is pulling it to the other. But when one magnet turns away from the other, it literally repels it. We need to literally turn away from sin. I am so thankful for our Savior Jesus Christ who provided us a way to be healed and nurtured as we go through this process. This process is not always easy, but it is worth it. It helps us develop our spiritual gifts- like the talent of spirituality and recognizing truth. We all yearn for spiritual things, and this is the way to get there.

I want to end with my testimony of the Book of Mormon and the Prophet Joseph Smith. I know that the Book of Mormon is the word of God. There is no question in my mind. I know it's real because I know that I recognize truth in it. I also recognize truth in Joseph Smiths teachings. If you look at the whole mosaic of his life, not just small individual experiences, you see how much he was an instrument in the hand of God. I know God loves him and is so thankful for his sacrifice. I also know that because he was a prophet, we have a prophet today - Thomas S Monson who leads and guides this church in Christ's name. Lastly, I know that Christ is my Savior and Redeemer and I'm thankful to have him by my side.