Sunday, March 23, 2014

Our Advocate
March 17, 2014
Sorry I ran out of time to email last week! This week I have been really humbled and I have learned a lot about my Savior in ways that I don't know I could have learned any other way.
Something that I've learned being out here in Grand Junction is that there is a lot of hardship, depression and trials, but I also know without a doubt that the Savior is REAL and that He is perfect.  I've thought a lot lately about how He is our advocate, and I've thought about what that means exactly.  I don't think that I've truly understood until this week. There is this lady that we visit, who has recently been coming back to church. She grew up in the church, but left a long time ago. She has had a long hard life of abuse, hardship, and heavy drugs.  She has two kids, and she really really wants them to have a good foundation. When we go to teach her it's kind of hard sometimes because so much is going on with her kids and its really loud. But we had a really spiritual experience with her that I will NEVER forget. We were teaching her the plan of salvation, and she stopped us and said that she had a question. The room was quiet, I think for the first time ever. She asked about the spirit world. She felt like she had done things in her life that she could never be forgiven for  and of course our initial reaction was to tell her that Heavenly Father loves everyone and that she will be okay. But then something told me to slow down and think about it more. She started to tell us more about her life and that all she can think about is the time that her dad yelled at her and told her that she will be the only one left behind. That she won't ever make it to the celestial kingdom with her family, that it's too late for her. That she had done things that cannot be repaired. That she shouldn't even try because it won't matter.

I think that we all feel this way at some point or another, just in different degrees. That maybe nothing matters- why try because we feel so down or that we'll never be good enough or that we will never be as good as another person. We all feel different emotions- and that is OKAY. What happened next is what really made me realize how perfect the Savior's love is.
I looked straight into this woman's eyes and saw the hurt. I saw how sad she was and how she wanted her family to be together forever and all of a sudden a huge wave of love came over me. I started talking and I started to cry as I told her that as a missionary, I was a representative of Jesus Christ and I now understood why Jesus Christ was called our advocate. I told her that I imagined standing next to her in front of our Heavenly Father and telling Him all of the wonderful things that she did for her kids. To tell Him how hard she's trying to read her scriptures. To tell Him how I would do anything for her to be able to feel happiness again and to be forgiven. I wanted to plead for her. I wanted her to be forgiven.  I KNEW in that moment that the Savior loved her.

It hit me why it was so important to have a relationship with our Savior. Not only can He bring us happiness, but He will be our advocate one day when we have the chance to meet our Maker. No, we are not perfect, but that is why we have a Savior. So that we can be perfect one day. Through Him we can live with our families with eternal happiness. All He wants us to know right now is that it's okay because He is here. He truly knows who you are, and He is waiting for you to find Him in your life. Ultimate peace comes from learning our relationship with our Savior. It's not a scary thing to learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ. It's an amazing thing that will change your life. I absolutely love my Savior and I'm thankful for all that He's done for me so that I can be happy. I don't even deserve it! 

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